Hey, I'm Dave.

I like sharp crayons, shiney gadgets, strawberry milk, moleskin journals, and awkward silence.

I vicariously live through Kick Buttowski, and channel my inner Dennis Miller every time I have to wait in a line. I drive into strange neighborhoods to get lost. I prefer the company of perfect strangers. Some times I brush my teeth with my left hand so I can pretend someone else is doing it for me. I eat cottage cheese with peaches because someone has to. I munch on candy canes and smile way too much. I draw on my arm because I can't make a decent tattoo decision, and I have an incredible Mickey Mouse impression.

I cant go to the mall without smelling every scent in Bath and Body Works. I mess with people at the grocery store. I blow bubbles on my lunch break, I buy my clothes at JC Penny and I eat Chick Fil-A three times a week. I don't fish, and I can't hunt. I don't own any camo. I don't take orders, and I'm no mamby pamby. I take Dayquil at night. I smack my gum, I hog the remote, and I am in love with my DVR. Every morning I do three jumping jacks so the day wont be a waste of deordorant. I crack my knuckles, love burnt pizza, and have a love affair with mullets that cannot be explained.

I teach Photoshop and I bend pixels while everyone else is sleeping. I make the world shine, literally. My skin is nearly reflective. I'm a walking disco-ball. I dont own a tool box. I can't make it through a weekend without watching Phineas and Ferb.

I am infatuated with Ellen Degeneres and fascinated by the comedy of Gaffigan, CK, and Hedberg. My "idols" are Steve Martin, Bill Cosby, and Dennis Quaid. I refuse to eat a burger without bacon. I take my cheese melty and never stringy. I wrangle code, ride the pony down the aisles at Target, and although I'm a staunch conservative I still think Rush Limbaugh is a joke.

Remember when they were going to censor the internet?

Remember when people cared about Kony?

Remember when people did the cinnamon challenge?

Remember when everyone played Temple Run?

Remember the Alamo?

Remember the Titans?

remember who you are

(Source: anthonypadilla)

332,737 notes
Posted on Thursday, 9 August
Reblogged from: make-belief
Posted by: anthonypadilla

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